hanya kerana menulis matlamat bersungguh-sungguh..

4 Muharam 1433H ~ 29 November 2011 ~ Selasa


Benarlah, sekiranya kita inginkan sesuatu.
Diiringi dengan perasaan yang berkobar-kobar,
kesungguhan,
membayangkan apa yang ingin kita capai itu
dan yang paling penting menulis matlamat tersebut.
InsyaAllah, akan ada jalan terbentang utk kita menuju ke matlamat kita itu.

Di gerbang Muharam 1433H sabtu lalu, I gave myself opportunity to check myself.
Muhasabah diri, tengok balik apa yang telah berlaku dalam tahun 1432H.
Learn from the mistakes.
Write down all my goals, target, resolutions ...

one of my goal is nak jadi seseorang yang berakhlak mulia seperti Rasulullah.
Dulu tak pernah terfikir nak tulis target yang seem to be simple macam nie tapi
sebenarnya MEMANG KENA TULIS tak kira lah walau SEKECIL atau SEREMEH mana matlamat tersebut. ( so matlamat yang besar lagi lah perlu di tulis )

So antara matlamat yang saya tulis ..
Nak jadi berakhlak mulia macam Rasulullah.
Nak jadi sihat & fit macam Rasulullah.

Sebenarnya saya terlintas nak tulis target kat atas nie apabila terdengar IKIM.FM menceritakan mengenai penghuni syurga. Penjelasannya agak panjang tapi isi yang penting dalam pesanan ringkas tersebut ialah antara ciri-ciri penghuni syurga ialah mereka yang berakhlak mulia.
Lalu terlintas di fikiran, adakah kita ni berakhlak mulia ke tak ?
Teringat jugak tentang salah satu kisah Nabi Isa yang belajar dari mereka yang jahat.
Setiap kali melihat sesuatu yang tidak berakhlak, akan pesan pada diri agar tidak meniru perbuatan tersebut dan berdoa agar kita dan saudara kita itu sentiasa mendapat hidayah Allah.

Matlamat No.1 : Berakhlak mulia

Masuk sahaja 1 Muharam 1433H, lebih banyak diperlihatkan jalan-jalan utk mendidik diri menjadi seseorang yang berakhlak mulia. So amazing !
Semuanya mendorong utk membawa kepada pembaikan diri, memperbaiki diri supaya berubah menjadi seseorang yang berakhlak mulia.


Matlamat No.2 : Sihat & fit
Kemudian, di pertemukan pulak dengan Loket Quantum ( http://www.excelfusion.com/ ).
Kan matlamat, hajat, niat yang ke-2 tadi nak jadi sihat & fit macam Rasullullah saw.
Loket ni berasaskan galian ( lahar gunung berapi ), cuma perlu gunakan sebagai kalung, letak dalam saku atau di letakkan bersebelahan dengan bekas berisi air. Setelah bersembang lama tentang loket Quantum nie, my friend ask me to bring it home. Try la.
So, saya try.
Macam tak percaya, dengan izin Allah ...amazing thing happen. Takde la obvious. Tapi it does something to me. Small thing tapi wow! Tak tau nak describe macamana. Semuanya dengan kuasa Allah yang Maha Esa.

Haaa..itulah sedikit sebanyak experience since 1 Muharam 1433H sehingga hari nie 4 Muharam 1433H.( 4 hari )
Jadi lebih semangat utk menulis & mengulang2 matlamat yang ingin dicapai.
Agar perjalanan ke matlamat saya semakin jelas.
Semoga perjalanan anda menuju matlamat anda jelas juga.

Jom tulis matlamat kita penuh emosi, kesungguhan & perasaan yang berkobar-kobar..

..yang nampak tapi tak terlihat.

Setengah daripada jalan mencapai makrifat itu ialah dengan mengenal diri seperti kata seorang sahabat Rasulullah SAW., Yahya bin Muaz Al-Razi ;

"Barangsiapa mengenal dirinya maka sesungguhnya mengenal ia akan Tuhannya".

Sejauh mana kita mengenal diri kita?
Sejauh mana kita cuba mengorek & mencungkil segala kehebatan dalam diri yang telah ALLAH swt anugerahkan pada kita. Hakikatnya kita telah sama-sama melayang terbang bersama-sama arus dunia. Terkadang kita tersedar dan bermuhasabah. Dan apabila kita di duga lagi, di uji lagi..tanpa sahabat-sahabat yang mengingatkan, kita kembali kepada kealpaan itu.
Kita lupa segala keindahan hidup ini adalah kerana DIA lah yang telah menciptakannya.
Kita lupa segala nikmat & kebahagiaan itu adalah pemberian dari NYA.
Kita lupa kesusahan dan dugaan yang datang sekadar menguji IMAN kita pada NYA.

 Bagaimana Min (bukan nama sebenar) seorang yang normal seperti kita semua di uji.

Bukan untuk menzalimi.
Bukan untuk membuat kita derita.
Tetapi untuk membina kita, jiwa dan raga agar teguh & hebat mencintaiNYA.
Dan menuju destinasi yang kekal abadi sebagai hambaNYA yang tetap dlm ISLAM & iman.
Dan terus tinggal dalam Syurga idaman semua.

Inilah kisah ringkas buat renungan bersama ...


Dengan kuasa Allah Yang Maha Esa, tangan kirinya mula kering dan bersisik.


Zee : Mengapa dgn tangan tu,eeeee ? Agak jengkel melihat kepelikan tangan yang agak berlainan dari yang satu lagi. Mungkin pada pandangan biasa, memang agak menakutkan seorang manusia mempunyai 2 belah tangan yang berlainan. Tangan kanannya berusia 20an manakala tangan kiri nya berusia 60an. Berkerut, berkedut dan kulit yang sangat kering & kesat itu kelihatan sangat menakutkan. Begitulah mungkin pandangan Zee ketika itu. Min hanya tersenyum, membalas pertanyaan Zee dgn bersahaja. " Entah lah Zee, ermmm. Saya pun tak tahu.
Zee : Pergi lah ke klinik ( ujar Zee dengan nada kasihan )

Sambil membelek-belek kedua belah tangannya. Membandingkan perbezaan yang ketara pada zahirnya, Min membalas......"Ermm..takpe la. Takde ape2 kot. Nanti okey lah nie. "
Saban hari, sesiapa saja yang perasan keadaan tangan nya akan bertanya. 
Dan jawapannya tetap sama.
Dan setelah hampir sebulan, tiba-tiba terdetik kerisauan di hati nya. 
Lantaran lontaran soalan-soalan yang sering bertanyakan keadaan tangannya. 
Mengingatkan fitrah ular & beluncas yang sering di tonton di Channel Discovery, hatinya lega.

Selepas itu, Min telah lupa akan keadaan tangannya.  Dia begitu pasti tangan hanya melalui suatu proses perubahan yang mungkin disebabkan antibodi pada tangannya sedang melawan bakteria ( yang tak nampak ) menjadikan ia kelihatan begitu berbeza dari keadaan asalnya. Dan setelah proses itu selesai, pasti tangannya kan kelihatan lebih baik lagi..

Masa terus berlalu dan tanpa sedar suatu hari Min terpandang kulit tangan kirinya yang nampak sangat sihat. Dia tersenyum sendiri bersama dengan ucapan alhamdulillah. Sebelum ini, dia menerima seadanya keadaan tangan nya yang berkerut dan sangat kering itu. Tak kisah la keadaan tangan nya bagaimana, yang penting dia menjaga nya sebaik-baiknya.

Lintasan fikiran menerjah. Dalam setiap kesusahan pasti ada kesenangan. Tertulis dalam surah Al-Insyirah.


الرَّحِيم: Dengan nama Allah Yang Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Penyayang.

1.أَلَمْ نَشْرَحْ لَكَ صَدْرَكَ Bukankah Kami telah melapangkan untukmu dadamu?,

2.وَوَضَعْنَا عَنْكَ وِزْرَكَ Dan Kami telah menghilangkan dari padamu bebanmu,

3.الَّذِي أَنْقَضَ ظَهْرَكَ yang memberatkan punggungmu?

4.وَرَفَعْنَا لَكَ ذِكْرَكَ Dan Kami tinggikan bagimu sebutan (nama)mu.

5.فَإِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا Kerana sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan,

6.إِنَّ مَعَ الْعُسْرِ يُسْرًا sesungguhnya bersama kesulitan itu ada kemudahan.

7.فَإِذَا فَرَغْتَ فَانْصَبْ Maka apabila kamu telah selesai (dari sesuatu urusan), kerjakanlah dengan sungguh-sungguh (urusan) yang lain,

8.وَإِلَى رَبِّكَ فَارْغَبْ dan hanya kepada Tuhanmulah hendaknya kamu berharap.


Min tersenyum. Setiap apa yang berlaku pasti ada peritnya. Dan yang pasti selepas itu keindahan, kebahagiaan, kesenangan & kegembiraan menyusul tiba. Bisikan hatinya berkata "Semoga saya terus tetap bersama Allah. Akan terus diperlihatkan betapa indah kebesaranNYA. Akan terus punya hati yang tabah serta iman yg teguh mengharungi kehidupan di dunia ini dalam menuju ke destinasi yang abadi".


 
Pengajarannya :

Hidup kita tidak akan terlepas dari sekecil2 dugaan,ujian,masalah & cabaran. Samada dalam bentuk kekayaan atau kemiskinan atau apa saja. Terpulang lah kepada kita yang punya akal & iman utk mengharunginya.  Andai kita memilih utk mengharungi nya dengan IMAN insyaAllah penghujungnya pasti khabar yang sangat membahagiakan. Keputusannya semuanya pada kita. Jalan-jalan yang kita lalui adalah jalan-jalan yang telah kita pilih. Marilah kita sama-sama memilih jalan menuju Allah.
Kerana akhirnya kita tetap akan bertemu denganNYA.
Kemudian terdetik di fikiran nya, insyaAllah tangan ini akan kembali sempurna seperti tangan kanannya.

Terbayang-bayang di fikirannya ...ular & beluncas
Sepertimana ular yang sedang bertukar kulit. Betapa hodohnya proses itu. Tapi selepas selesai proses tersebut, pasti kulit ular tersebut menjadi begitu cantik.
Begitu juga dengan serangga beluncas. Dari beluncas bertukar menjadi kepompong dan akhirnya menjadi rama-rama yang cantik.

Happy New Year 1433H Part 2

I just wanted to share this very interesting article with all of you. I hope all of us get the benefit from it.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 1433H

A ninety-four year old man named ‘Unwan al-Basri narrates, saying: “I had been studying under Malik ibn Anas for a number of years. When Ja’far as-Sadiq (AS) came to Madinah, I went to visit him and was interested in learning from him just as I had been learning from Malik. He said to me one day: “I am a man much sought after and am also occupied by various supplications throughout the day and the night so please do not disturb me in my state of supplication and go and learn from Malik and study under him just as you were doing before”. I became sad on hearing this and left the Imam’s presence, and said to myself, “If the Imam had perceived any good in me he would not have prevented me from studying under him and learning from him”. I then went to the mosque of the Holy Prophet (SAWW) and I gave my salutations to him, then I turned from the grave and prayed two units of prayer at the rawdhah (the area near the Prophet’s (SAWW) grave which is considered to be a piece of paradise) and said supplicating Allah (SWT): “O Allah (SWT)! O Allah (SWT)! I beseech You please make Ja’far’s (AS) heart incline towards me, and grant me from his knowledge that which will guide me on the right path”. Then I returned home, sad and upset, and did not even attend Malik b. Anas’s study circles for my heart was filled only with love for Ja’far (AS). I did not leave my house except to attend congregational prayers, until I finally ran out of patience. When I could bear it no longer, I put my shoes and my cloak on, and made my way to Ja’far’s (AS) house after the ‘Asr (afternoon) prayer.

When I arrived at his house, I sought permission to enter, and a servant of his came out and asked me what I wanted. I replied: “I’ve come to extend my salutations to the noble one. He said that the Imam was busy praying. So I waited on the doorstep, and it wasn’t long before the servant came out again and said: “Come in by the grace of Allah (SWT)”. So I entered and greeted the Imam, and he returned my greeting, saying: “Take a seat and may Allah (SWT) forgive you”. So I sat down. Then he bowed his head, looking down for quite a long time before he asked me my title, to which I replied: “Abu Abdallah”. He said: “May Allah (SWT) extend your progeny and enable you to succeed in doing what pleases Him”. Upon hearing this, I thought to myself that if I were to take away nothing of benefit from this visit except this prayer (that he had wished for me), it would be more than enough. Then he bowed his head down again for a while, then raised it saying: “O Abu Abdallah, what do you want?” I replied: “I asked Allah (SWT) to give me a place in your heart and to grant me benefit from your knowledge, so I hope that Allah (SWT) will grant me what I asked Him for with respect to you”.

The Imam said: “O Abu Abdallah, knowledge is not acquired through learning. Rather it is a light that illuminates in the heart of one who wants Allah (SWT) to guide him. So if you want knowledge, first seek out true servitude (to Allah (SWT)) within yourself. And seek knowledge according to its use (ie: what you can act upon) and ask Allah (SWT) to make you understand, and He’ll make you understand”.

I asked: “O noble one” and he immediately said: “Call me Abu Abdallah”, so I started again: “O Abu Abdallah, what constitutes true servitude to Allah (AS)?” He replied: “Three things – 1) that in all that Allah (SWT) has placed at his disposal, the servant does not consider any of it his own possession, for verily servants do not have the right to ownership. They see all wealth as belonging to Allah (SWT) and so they dispose of it as Allah (SWT) commands them to. 2) that the servant does not make plans for himself (ie: does not see himself as the executer of his plans), and 3) that the servant occupies himself solely with observing what Allah (SWT) has commanded and refraining from that which He has forbidden. So when the servant does not see any of the wealth at his disposal as his own, giving from it in the way of Allah (SWT) becomes easy for him. And when the servant entrusts all his plans to the Master Planner, the tribulations of this world become insignificant in his eyes. And when the servant occupies himself with observing Allah’s (SWT) commands and refraining from what He has forbidden, he no longer has time for showing off and useless debates with people.

So when Allah grants (SWT) these three characteristics to a servant, the world (ie: worldly matters), Satan and people (and their opinions) become insignificant in his eyes, and he does not seek after worldly gains to amass possessions, nor does he demand fame and status from people, and nor does he waste his time on futile things. This is but the first stage that the pious God-conscious ones (muttaqoon) reach. Verily Allah (SWT) says in the Holy Qur’an: “As for that future abode, We assign it to those who have no desire to exalt themselves in the earth nor to make mischief, and the good end is for those who are God-conscious (muttaqoon)”.

I asked: “O Abu Abdallah, please give me some advice”. The Imam replied: “I advise you on nine issues. Know that they are my advice especially to those who strive on the path to Allah (SWT), and I beseech Allah (SWT) to help you act upon this advice. Three of them are to do with self-discipline, three to do with clemency towards others, and three to do with knowledge, so learn them well, and do not take them lightly”.

I emptied my heart of all else in order to receive this advice, and the Imam continued: “As for the three pieces of advice on self-discipline – firstly do not eat that which you have no appetite for, for this brings about idiocy and stupidity. Secondly do not eat unless you are hungry. And thirdly when you do eat, eat only that which is lawful (Halal) and begin in the Name of Allah (SWT), and remind yourself of the tradition of the Prophet (SAWW): “There is no vessel that man fills worse than his own stomach”. So if you must fill it, then allow one third of it for food, another third for drink, and keep the last third for air.

The three pieces of advice to do with clemency are – firstly if someone were to say to you: “If you dare say a word, I’ll give you ten back”, then you should be such as to reply: “Even if you say ten words, you will not hear a single one back from me’. Secondly, when someone insults you, say: “If you are right in what you are saying, then may Allah (SWT) forgive me for it, and if you are wrong then may He forgive you for it”. And thirdly, when someone treats you harshly, return it with good counsel and pray for Him.

As for the advice to do with knowledge – firstly, ask the scholars that which you are ignorant of, but do not ask them obnoxiously or testingly. Secondly, do not act based on your own opinion about something, and exercise precaution in all things wherever possible. And thirdly, beware of giving religious decrees and legal opinions as you would beware of a lion, and do not put your neck at stake for people to walk all over.

Now please take your leave O Abu Abdallah, for I have advised you, and please do not preoccupy me further from my supplications, as I am a man who does not waste his breath. “And peace be on him who follows the guidance”.”


Narrated from TheMahdi.org
http://www.themahdi.org/downloads/Unwan%20al%20Basri%20hadith%20in%20english.pdf

1432H favourite songs in memory...^_^

Credited to my father who introduce me to the following song ( his dekstop background song )...love you dad !

ST 12 ~ Kebesaran-MU ( ALLAH The Almighty )

 

Wali Band ~ Aku cinta Allah. ( I love YOU, ALLAH )

This song made me think, over and over again. What I had done for my life all this while till present day.

 

Izinkan aku memuja MU. ( Let me love YOU, ALLAH )

Memuja-MU by ST 12

 

ALLAH swt, please let us love YOU more and more every day .

 

Selamat Menyambut awal Muharam 1433 Part 1

The Islamic New Year (Arabic: رأس السنة الهجرية‎ Ras as-Sana al-Hijreya) is the day that marks the beginning of a new Islamic calendar year, and is the day on which the year count is incremented. The first day of the year is observed on the first day of Muharram, the first month in the Islamic calendar.

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH THE BENEFICENT THE MERCIFUL

Today is 25 November 2011, 29 Zulhijjah 1432.

Less than 24hrs from now, we will meet our NEW YEAR of 1433H.

There are too many things going on in my mind right now. The thought of this coming NEW YEAR OF 1433H in less than 24hours make me become more nervous. I try to find the concrete reasons behind it but still.. I m not getting any answer.

This year of 1432H has became a GREAT YEAR for me. I started 1432H with the word of enthuastic. List down all the things I wanted to achieve & alhamdulillah... eventhough not everything become TRUE but I always be grateful for what had happened throughout the year.

All great things came to me & those challenges that I met throughout the year had taught me a lots of thing. I was thinking..today I am going to  write in this blog " a thousand pages"  but I remind myself that I wanted that this BLOG become  a motivated blog for all  reader who drop by,read the content and get the great benefit from it.  Therefore I will stick to PURPOSE of this blog & simplified everything.

Anyway,  in the celebration of this NEW YEAR OF 1433 I just wanted to say that I've learn a lots but I just dont know how to express them here. But Sissy has helped me with this. This is what Sissy wrote and I am quite agree with some of it. Here you are my dear readers...^_^

I've learned that we don't have to change friends,If we understand that friends change.



I've learned that something that you do in an instant, can give you heart ache for life.


I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words, it may be that last time you see them.


I've learned that we are responsiable for what we do, no matter how we feel.


I've learned that either you control your attitude, or it controls you.


I've learned that my best friend and I , can do anything or nothing and still have a good time.

I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you are down, will be the one who helps you get up.

I've learned that sometimes when i am angry i have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them too, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned that maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you learned from them, and less to do with how many years you have lived.

I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others, but sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.


I've learned that just because two people argue, doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do love each other.


I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret, it may change you life forever.

I've learned that sometimes the people that you love most in lfe, are taken from you too soon.


I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved, and the rest is up to them.


I've learned that no matter how much i care, some people just don't care back.


I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and just seconds to destroy it.


I've learned that you can keep going, long after you think you can't.

I've learned that it's not what you have in life, but who you have that counts.

I've learned that their are people who love you dearly, but just don't know how to show it.


I've learned that even when you feel you have no more to give, a friend cries out and you find the strenght to help.

I've learned that our backgrounds and circumstances may have influenced our lives, but we are responsiable for who we become.

This year (1432H ) has became a POSITIVE year than previous year. I will BUILD myself become 10times more POSITIVE and with greater achievement this coming year of 1433H. ( I better write down all the goals, dreams, achievement & the planning right now ...hehehe)

I hope you do tooooooooo....lets set our goals & work on it !



15 things you probably never knew or thought about....

1. At least five people in this world love you so much they would die for you.

2. At least fifteen people in this world love you in some way.

3. The only reason anyones would ever hate you is because they want to be just like you.

4. A smile from you can bring happiness to anyone, even if they don't like you.

5. Every night, someone thinks about you before they go to sleep.

6. You mean the world to someone.

7. If not for you, someone may not be living.

8. You are special and unique.

9. Someone that you don't even know exists loves you.

10. When you make the biggest mistake ever, something good comes from it.

11. When you think the world has turned its back on you, take a look: you most likely turned your back on the world.

12. When you think you have no chance of getting what you want, you probably won't get it, but if you believe in yourself, probably, sooner or later, you will get it.

13. Always remember the compliments you recieved. Forget the rude remarks.

14. Always tell soemone how you feel about them; you will feel much better when they know.

15. If you have a great friend, take the time to let them know that they are great.

We call it " TIME "

Imagine there is a bank account that credits your account each morning with $86,400. It carries over no balance from day to day.

Every evening the bank deletes whatever part of the balance you failed to use during the day. What would you do? Draw out every cent, of course?

Each of us has such a bank. It's name is TIME.

Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.

Every night it writes off as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to a good purpose.

It carries over no balance. It allows no over draft. Each day it opens a new account for you. Each night it burns the remains of the day.

If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours. There is no drawing against "tomorrow."

You must live in the present on today's deposits. Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!

The clock is running!! Make the most of today.



To realise the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.



To realise the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.



To realise the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.



To realise the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.



To realise the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed a train.



To realise the value of ONE SECOND, ask someone who just avoided an accident.



To realise the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal at the Olympics.



Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with. And remember time waits for no one.



Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why its called the present.

Tips Mencari Jodoh Part 6

51. Lelaki harus mempamerkan sifat kelelakiannya di samping memasukkan sifat perempuan dalam dirinya seperti lebih prihatin, memahami emosi , timbang rasa, dan gunakan gerak batin.

52. Perempuan harus mempamerkan sifat kewanitaan disamping menghayati sifat lelaki seperti minat dalam politik, sukan, memancing, dan aktiviti macho yang lain. Bertindak bijak tapi, jangan terlalu bijak.

53. Untuk menambat hati wanita, kerap bertanya tentang perasaannya, aktiviti yang dijalankannya, kegemarannya, kebenciannya atau sebarang perkara yang berkaitan dengan emosi.

54. Sebelum benar-benar rapat, orang perempuan harus elakkan diri dari bertanya bakal pasangan mengenai perasaannya mengenai sesuatu perkara, peristiwa atau situasi.

55. Orang lelaki amat pantang bila bakal pasangan menempelak atau menunjukkan kesilapan atau kebodohan lelaki tersebut. Ini cara terbaik memutuskan hubungan.

56. Orang perempuan mudah tertawan kepada lelaki yang boleh mengaku salah, meminta maaf, meminta bantuan, bertolak ansur, pandai mendengar, bersabar dan lemah lembut terhadap wanita.

57. Bila bercakap dengan lelaki, orang perempuan harus fokus kepada fakta dan sampaikan secara ringkas. Penjelasan yang berjela-jela dan memasukkan unsur perasaan akan membunuh minat lelaki terhadapnya.

58. Jika orang perempuan marah, pujuklah dengan kasih sayang. Tanya kenapa dia marah, dengari dengan teliti dan jangan komen atau cuba beri nasihat. Orang perempuan mudah sayang pada lelaki yang pandai mendengar dan sensitif kepada perasaannya.

59. Jika lelaki marah, jangan sibuk nak tanya kenapa dia marah.Pamerkan kasih sayang dan bentuk suasana yang tenang. Doakan dia dan beri masa untuk dia merawat dirinya sendiri.

60. Fahami bahawa orang lelaki bercakap secara terus terang, ringkas & objektif. Orang perempuan sering bercakap secara berlapik, terperinci & banyak yang tersirat.

ADA banyak perkara yang perlu anda pertimbangkan dalam hubungan anda sebagai pasangan kekasih kerana ia akan mempengaruhi masa depan kehidupan anda bersama.

Perkahwinan bukan sekadar berpandukan kepada cinta semata-mata. Jika cinta yang dijadikan asas, besar kemungkinan perkahwinan yang didirikan berhadapan dengan pelbagai masalah.

Pandangan keluarga, perancangan masa depan, persamaan dan perbezaan antara anda dan teman perlu dibincangkan bersama sebelum anda mencapai kata sepakat untuk mendirikan rumah tangga.

Bak kata orang, perkahwinan bukan sekadar anda dan pasangan, sebaliknya ia membabitkan banyak pihak dan isu. Ketika bercinta semuanya indah, tetapi apabila sudah melangkah ke alam perkahwinan barulah tampak kepincangan masing-masing.

Tanpa perbincangan, anda akan mengalami pelbagai masalah kelak, justeru tetapkan hala tuju anda dan pasangan sebelum mengambil langkah lebih serius.

Persoalan berikut mungkin boleh dijadikan pertimbangan.

Pengalaman ketika kecil ketika bersama keluarga.

Apakah pengalaman duka masa kanak-kanak akan menjejaskan perkahwinan anda?

Kasih sayang daripada ibu bapa.

Apakah ibu bapa anda mesra, mengambil berat dan penyayang atau adakah mereka sering berselisih faham?

Latar belakang agama.

Adakah anda seorang yang beriman dan bertakwa?

Pendidikan.

Apakah anda dan pasangan memiliki taraf pendidikan yang sama? Apakah anda berasa tergugat jika pasangan anda memiliki taraf pendidikan yang lebih tinggi? Apakah anda bercita-cita untuk melanjutkan pelajaran?

Latar belakang budaya dan sosioekonomi.

Bandingkan latar belakang masing-masing – lebih besar perbezaan antaranya maka lebih besarlah kemungkinan wujudnya masalah berkaitan adat resam, kehidupan berkeluarga, harapan tradisi dan sebagainya.

Kepintaran.

Apakah anda lebih pintar daripada pasangan anda atau sebaliknya? Apakah ini mungkin mencetuskan rasa iri hati?

Hubungan dengan mentua.

Apakah pandangan saudara mara anda mengenai calon pilihan anda dan bagaimana hubungan anda dengan mentua?

Sikap dari segi kewangan.

Apakah anda akan berbincang mengenai cara menguruskan kewangan selepas berkahwin?

Bilangan anak?

Apakah anda dan pasangan bercanggah pendapat mengenai bilangan anak dan perancangan keluarga? Apakah anda berbincang mengenai tanggungjawab sebagai ibu bapa dan cara membesarkan anak?

Masalah seksual?

Apakah perasaan anda dan pasangan terhadap kemampuan seksual masing-masing? Anda berdua patut menjalani pemeriksaan fizikal dan khidmat kaunseling bagi memastikan tiada masalah seksual.

Pemilih tempat tinggal?

Di manakah anda berdua akan tinggal selepas berkahwin – di rumah sendiri atau mentua. Jika memilih untuk tinggal di rumah mentua dapatkah anda menyesuaikan diri dengan mereka?

Anda Bersedia Untuk Menjadi Ibu Bapa?

Dalam perkahwinan, pasangan biasanya akan merancang untuk mempunyai anak. Perkara ini wajar dibincangkan ketika anda merancang untuk berkahwin. Ada banyak persoalan yang perlu dijawab terlebih dulu. Adakah anda benar-benar mahukan anak? Berapa ramai? Bila? Anda dan pasangan wajar membincangkan tahap persediaan untuk melaksanakan tanggungjawab sebagai ibu bapa, juga sama ada anak akan melengkapi kehidupan berkeluarga serta beban kewangan yang bakal dihadapi.

 






 

Credit to www.malaysiamaya.com/ ( share from http://nuriman.wordpress.com/2009/07/26/60-petua-mencari-jodoh/ )